Dive Deeper

• Look Out For The Signs

  It's not always obvious if your child is thinking about taking their own life, so it's useful to know what signs to look out for.

  Some children might struggle to express their feelings, while others might be quite clear about any suicidal thoughts they have been having.

  These types of behaviour could be signs that your child is thinking of harming themselves:

  • Showing feelings of being hopeless, worthless and sad. They might also express guilt or shame.
  • Becoming withdrawn from friends and spending a lot of time alone.
  • No longer interested in things they usually enjoy.
  • Talking about death or saying things like "I wish I wasn't here" or "I can't go on".
  • Giving away their belongings.
  • Behaving in ways that are out of character.
  • Eating or sleeping more or less than usual and not caring about their appearance.
  • Using drugs or alcohol to help them cope when they're struggling.
  • Self-harming.

  If you are worried that your child might be having suicidal thoughts, it's important that you speak to a professional using the contact information on this page.

• Self-Harm And Suicide

  If your child is self-harming, it does not necessarily mean that they are thinking about taking their own life. Sometimes it can be a way of coping with difficult emotions, rather than expressing suicidal feelings.

  However, there is a link between self-harm and suicide and research shows that young people who attempt suicide are more likely to have previously self-harmed.

  More information about self-harming

• Talking About Suicidal Thoughts

  This can be an incredibly difficult conversation to have with your child, but talking to them about their feelings can make a huge difference.

  You might be worried about saying the wrong thing or making the situation worse and that is understandable. But bear in mind that they might be feeling very alone and having someone to talk to could reduce their worries.

  Talking will also help you understand how they are feeling and what you need to do in order to help them.

  If you're concerned that your child is thinking about taking their own life, try these tips to get the conversation underway:

  • Start the conversation gently, saying something like "I've noticed that you seem quite down lately" or "I'm wondering what's going on for you at the moment".
  • Once you've started the conversation, it's important to be clear and direct. Ask them whether they are thinking about suicide and don't be afraid to use clear words such as 'suicide', 'taking your own life' or 'ending your life'. Avoid unclear phrases like 'dark thoughts'.
  • Try to be confident and clear. It might help to practise what you are going to say first, so that you are more comfortable saying words like 'suicide' or 'suicidal thoughts'.

• My Child Refuses To Talk About Their Feelings

  Not all children find it easy to talk about their feelings and this can make it very difficult for a parent or carer who is worried about their child harming themselves.

  You could try talking to them while walking or doing an activity when they might feel more relaxed. Or you could ask them to write down how they are feeling.

  If they are more comfortable speaking to another member of the family or a family friend, encourage them to do it when they need to. Make sure they also know that you are there for them whenever they need you as well.

  You could also suggest they speak to one of the helpline services listed below.

  If they will not talk to anyone and you are concerned about them, you should seek professional help using the Who Can Help section below.

• My Child Has Told Me They Are Having Suicidal Thoughts

  Try to stay calm - your child trusts you enough to share their feelings with you and they are looking for you to help them.

  Let them explain how they feel and tell them you are glad that they have told you. If they are not with you, encourage them to get to a safe place.

  Your instinct will be to try and fix things straight away, but that isn't always possible. Just focus on giving them the support they need and trying to find out what is making them feel this way. Letting them know you love them and will help them to find the right support is also important.

  You will also need to find out if they are planning to act on their thoughts. If they have thought about how, when, or where they might do it, or researched methods online, it is a sign that they are at risk of making an attempt and you should seek help urgently. Even if they are not planning to act on their thoughts now, children can be impulsive and they might still be at risk, so you still need to seek help.

• Looking After Yourself

  Trying to support a child who is feeling suicidal can be incredibly tough. The constant worry can leave you feeling exhausted and affect your own mental health.

  You will need to ask for support from other people and to be able to take some time away for yourself. It isn't possible to supervise your child all of the time, and if you feel that they need to be supervised at all times, it could be a sign that you need more help. If keeping them safe at home is too much for you to manage, they might need to be in hospital where they can get help from professionals.

  Talking to a trusted friend can help, or if you need someone to talk to, you could try the Samaritans on 116 123. Your GP will also be able to advise you of services such as counselling or therapy, or you can self-refer to the Norfolk & Waveney Wellbeing Service.

  Find information of self referral to the Wellbeing Service here