You might notice that your child fidgets a lot. They might find it hard to relax and be constantly fiddling and squirming, or tapping and touching things.
Sometimes this may just be because they are restless or bored and fidgeting can help them stay focused. It can also be a sign that they are anxious or stressed and in an anxious state of fight or flight. It might be a sign they are supporting their sensory needs or have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
It doesn't always mean there is something wrong, some types of fidgeting can be soothing for young people, but if it begins to worry them or make them self-conscious it may be worth getting some advice.
Fidgeting normally involves small, often repetitive movements and it is not the same as needing to move around. In many situations, fidgeting is a self-soothing behaviour, so telling young people to stop or sit still can be unhelpful. A child who fidgets might do any of these things:
As long as your child is not hurting themselves or someone else when they fidget, let it happen. Fidgeting can be a self-soothing behaviour and shouldn't be viewed as something to punish or shame. It is helping them stay calm and there is a reason behind it.
If their fidgeting is harmful, for example chewing fingernails very short, you should intervene. Try to find something that replaces the chewing and allows them to release their energy without hurting themselves.
It's helpful to try to recognise if there are certain times, situations or environments when your child fidgets more. This can help you to understand if there are other things that might help them feel settled.
Fidget toys can provide the movement and sensation children who fidget need. They can help to keep your child's fidgeting contained but it's important to recognise that while they may reduce fidgeting, they alone will not 'stop' it.
It could be that your child is fidgeting because they have too much energy not being used up. Giving them short breaks from a sitting activity to move around can reduce their stress levels and help them focus when they return to what they were doing.
It's easy for an adult to get annoyed with a child who fidgets, which can increase their anxiety, so it's important that you stay calm and work together with your child to deal with fidgeting.
There are many types of fidget toys available, so it's a case of finding one that gives your child the level of focus they need.
It's important to establish rules with your child about when they can use their fidget toy. You will also need to speak to your child's school so that they can support the use of the toy.
These are some examples of fidget toys:
There will be a reason why your child is fidgeting and it is helpful to work out what this is.
Speak to your child's teachers and see what they have noticed. If you can see a pattern in the behaviour you might be able to find a solution.
Some neurodiverse young people may need regular movement and sensory breaks in order to focus on tasks, or they may need to engage in behaviours which are self-soothing. It's important to consider the environment and your child's needs in order to best support them.
You can contact the Healthy Child Service team by calling Just One Number on 0300 300 0123 or texting Parentline on 07520 631590. Our opening hours are 8am-6pm Monday-Friday (excluding bank holidays) and 9am-1pm on Saturdays.
If you are 11-19 you can text ChatHealth on 07480 635060 for confidential advice from one of our team.
For 10 to 18-year-olds, Kooth is a free, confidential and safe way to receive online counselling, advice and emotional well-being support.
Childline - Children and young people under 19 can call 0800 1111 for free support.
Young Minds Parents Helpline - Call 0808 802 5544 for free Mon-Fri from 9.30am to 4pm.
The ADHD Foundation Neurodiversity Charity supports parents and carers so they can understand and meet the needs of their child. Find resources, information and advice on their website.
National Autistic Society provide education, advice and support for families with neurodiversity.
To speak to other Norfolk parents and carers, you can join our online community forum below.
