Disagreements will always happen in a relationship, what is important is how you react to them - they don't always have to end in arguments.
It's actually healthy for people in a relationship to have different points of view, but if it often ends up in an argument, you need to be aware of the impact it could be having on your children.
Sometimes, the challenges of being a parent can contribute to your disagreements - for example you might argue about bedtime routines. Below we'll look at how you can deal with arguments when they happen and what you can do to help prevent arguments happening in the future.
Reducing your stress levels could mean that you are less likely to argue with your partner. Take a look at our stressbusting activities, and try something new. Happy stressbusting!
Arguments can be upsetting for the people involved and for children who witness them. Try the following tips to help you deal with arguments in a healthier way.
When you are feeling frustrated and annoyed with your partner or ex-partner, speak to a friend rather than bottling it up.Sometimes the words we use and the way we phrase things can lead to arguments.
In a relationship it's natural to not agree on everything and sometimes you might feel annoyed by something your partner does. When you try to tell them what is bothering you, they might become defensive, or it might feel like they are not listening.
This might be because we often argue using 'you' statements, where it can feel like you are accusing the other person of something. If you change these to 'I' statements, where you explain how you feel and how the situation is affecting you, it can lead to healthier communication.
The exercise below can help you think about these statements and things you could say instead.
If you are feeling stressed, it can lead to arguments because things in your life are making you feel overwhelmed. This can lead to less patience, irritability and feeling frustrated at things you wouldn’t normally be upset about.
If stress is not managed, it can start to have an effect on other areas of your life. If you are feeling stressed and emotions are running high, it can be very difficult to take a moment to think about how you can communicate in a healthy and effective way.
It's normal to take out upset and frustration on the people closest to you, but if you can take measures to reduce your stress levels, it could reduce the amount of arguments you have.
The following resources include some stress-busting techniques to help you manage your stress levels.
Five steps to mental wellbeing
As parents or carers, you might argue, fall out and disagree. This is normal and perfectly healthy. There will usually be a trigger which causes you to argue. Some common reasons are:
You should always bear in mind the impact of what you say and how you act during arguments can have on your children. Try to avoid arguing in front of your children or when they are within earshot of what you are saying, as it's easy to say something you might regret when tensions are running high.
Try to think about the root causes of your arguments and work out a way to make them less of an issue. For example, if money is an issue, try to sit down with your partner when you are both feeling calm and work out how you might improve it. You could try getting some financial advice, or you might be eligible for support from Norfolk County Council's Norfolk Assistance Scheme.
You can contact the Healthy Child Programme by calling Just One Number on 0300 300 0123 or texting Parentline on 07520 631590. Our opening hours are 8am-6pm Monday-Friday (excluding bank holidays) and 9am-1pm on Saturdays.
Family Hubs can provide information, advice, and guidance to families. They can help any family with a child or young person up to 19-years-old (25 for young people with a special educational need and/or disability).
Home Start provide expert help and support for families with young children who are going through challenging times.
The Early Childhood and Family Service provides help for 0 to 5-year-olds and their families. You can call 0344 800 8020 or email ecfs-families@actionforchildren.org.uk
Scope provides support for parents who have a child with a disability. They provide emotional support for families of a disabled child.
To speak to other Norfolk parents and carers, you can join our online community forum below.
