How Do I Know If I'm Stressed?

There are physical and emotional signs of stress. Physically you might notice;

• A fast heartbeat, breathlessness, feeling dizzy and faint.
• Feeling really tired, and either not being able to sleep or sleeping too much.
• You get headaches and feeling ‘on edge’.
• Have tummy upsets, feel sick.

Emotionally you and/or the people who know you best, might notice changes in how you behave. You might;

• Be more irritable, have less patience and get angry more easily.
• Not be interested in the things you have always enjoyed, and have ‘lost’ your sense of humour.
• Feel like something ‘bad’ is going to happen and/or ‘over-react’ to smaller problems.
• Worry about your own health and the health of your loved ones a lot.
• Use unhealthy ways to cope like alcohol, cigarettes and drugs.

It really helps if you can recognise stress in yourself – it is the first step to taking back control.

Panic Attacks

Sometimes a lot of the feelings of Stress arrive together and cause a panic attack. This is where your body responds to your stress as if you are in ‘danger’. Your body releases hormones that would be needed in an emergency. This is called the fight or flight response.

Panic attacks can feel very powerful and are not nice. They will pass - you are not in danger from them – your body has got confused. There are techniques you can use to help when you are having an attack. You can also work on managing your reaction to stress and this can help reduce how often they happen.

How To Manage Stress?

The good news is that there are helpful, simple ways to help make stress more manageable.

What Is Causing Stress?

Firstly, try and work out what things you find stressful. This understanding will help you start to address the feelings.

• Keep a daily diary – think about what you have been doing, and how you felt – what made things more stressful and what made it better.
• Think about past hard times in your life – what was happening? What did you do that helped – what made it worse?
• Ask trusted friends and loved ones to point out when they notice your stress levels are rising.

Making Changes

Once you have worked out the triggers for your stress, there may be some things you can change or improve. This can help manage and change how you are feeling. 

• If your workload is causing worry – you could talk to your boss or colleagues to see what could change.
• If you are struggling to keep everything on track at home - can you get others to share the load? Can you prioritise the most important things?
• If you have a lot of worries about your health or your money can you make an appointment to discuss this and get the right advice and support for you?

Try and limit the time you spend on social media and looking at the news. Too much can make you feel your life is ‘not as perfect’ as other peoples – this can affect your self esteem and self confidence.

• It can get in the way of family time and stop you getting enough rest.
• A lot of information on social media is not true and it can worry you without good reason.
• The news can make you feel that everything in the world is sad or dangerous – the news does not often focus on all of the good things!

Things You Can't Control or Change

Some things are very stressful for a short time like moving house, starting new jobs or schools and many other big changes. There may be some things that can’t be changed right now - like ongoing health problems, caring responsibilities, relationship difficulties and being short of money.

Whatever the cause of your stress there are practical things that will help.

• If you have a lot to do break it down into ‘small steps’ and make a list - so you can see your progress. Be realistic about what you can do.
• Take a break – even if it is 10 minutes - read a book, call a friend, or watch some TV. Puzzles, word search and craft are good stressbusters.
• Do not use alcohol, drugs or cigarettes to try and cope, the side effects will make the symptoms of stress worse.
• Fresh air and exercise is a good way to reduce stress and release ‘feel good hormones’. Anything that gets your heart beating a bit faster! You can try relaxing exercise too like yoga.

What Else Can I Do?

As well as practical things to calm down the feelings of stress, there are other things that are shown to work.

• Tell someone how you feel – they might be able to help – but even being listened to can lower stress. You could talk to friends or family, your GP or get in touch with the NHS Talking Therapies Service Norfolk and Waveney.
• Try relaxation techniques - there are a lot of different techniques but most involve concentrating on and slowing down your breathing.

Mindfulness is a useful way to lower stress by helping us to slow down and notice our feelings and surroundings. The idea is to focus on living in the moment and trying not to worry too much about the future and things you can’t control.

Talking To Your Child If You Suffer With Stress

When you struggle with stress your child may notice. Children are very tuned in to how their parents feel and behave. If you feel stressed you should not give yourself a hard time, it is a good chance to show your child that there are ways to manage it healthily.

You will sometimes not manage your stress well. This is OK as long as it does not happen often. Show your child that you can make it right again and cope. Talk to them about it;

‘I’m sorry I was stressed because we were late – then you wouldn’t put on your shoes and I shouted’.

Talk about what you could have done instead (E.g. take some slow deep breaths).

Get your child involved with the techniques you use to cope with stress – children really benefit from learning how to relax, be mindful, be active and talk about how they feel!