Communication With School

It's important to explore issues your child is facing and communicate any problems with the school. If you are concerned your child is beginning to miss education, ask for a meeting with the school’s SENDCo (Special Educational Needs & Disabilities Coordinator) and the headteacher.

The school SENDCo will be able to give advice and make a plan to support your child, alongside the headteacher or a member of the school senior leadership team who can put in place some changes. For example, they could arrange for a key person to meet your child in the morning, or organise different timings for the school day. 

To make the most of your meeting it's useful to:

• Write down what you want to say at the meeting and tell the school what your child is struggling with. 
• Explain what changes would be helpful, or ask the SENDCo for ideas on changes to try.
• Make a note of any agreed plan and follow it up afterwards by sending an email, so that the school know what you are expecting to happen.
• You could ask for changes to be added to their Individual Education Plan (a document to help teachers plan for your child) or EHCP, which will make sure that any adjustments are applied across all of your child's lessons. 
• Arrange a follow-up meeting with the school's SENDCo so that you can both check if things have improved after a while. 

If you don't receive the help you were hoping for, you can get advice on what provision the school should provide for you at Norfolk SENDIASS, and Suffolk SENDIASS.

Getting Help For School Refusal

For some children and young people, the school environment can feel overwhelming. A child or young person may show they are struggling, with their behaviour or by refusing to go to school.  This shouldn't be viewed as bad behaviour or parenting problems because it is much more complicated than that. Triggers that can cause school refusal include bullying, academic pressures and sensorial issues in the school environment.  

If your child is refusing to go to school, or showing distress at the thought of attending, you can support them by:

Requesting Help 

Communicate with the school that your child is having difficulties. They can suggest adjustments they could try to help, like a key person meeting your child at the start of the day, or alternative starts to the school day, like quiet reading in the library. 

You can also book an appointment to discuss the situation with your child's GP who could refer you to specialists in the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) if their mental health is affected. 

Recognising SEND 

If your child hasn't been recognised as having special educational needs, but you think they may need additional support, speak to your child's school SENDCo and ask them to observe and assess them. Undiagnosed or unsupported neurodivergence can make school life more challenging. 

Assessing & Reviewing Plans 

As support is put in place, your school SENDCo will explore strategies of SEND support. This means they will be assessing, planning, adding support and reviewing how the adjustments are going. Sometimes it takes a few cycles of this process to find the best forms of support for your child. 

Find out more about SEN Support here

Apply For an EHCP 

If SEN support cannot meet your child's needs, you can apply for an Education, Health and Care Needs Assessment (EHCNA) which is the first step towards getting an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP). Some children will require an EHCP if additional resources are felt to be needed to meet their needs. School SENDCo's or parents can apply to the local authority for an EHCNA. 

Contact SENDIASS

Local SENDIASS services can provide advice about SEND support and attend meetings with you at your child's school. Other useful services include IPSEA and SOS SEN. 

Strategies to Try at Home

Some simple strategies to use at home can help to ease anxiety and take the pressure off. 

Create a Morning Routine

Having a regular routine to get up, get dressed, have breakfast and leave the house can create a sense of predictability and security. Helping your child to check their timetable, pack their school bag and get their clothes laid out the night before can also help to prepare them. 

In the morning, focus on one task at a time to avoid your child becoming overwhelmed. For example, breaking down challenges into small parts, like focusing on getting themselves dressed, then having breakfast, and then the journey to school. 

Practice Techniques to Manage Anxiety

Building in relaxation techniques like breathing exercises, or creating a self sooth box can help later when your child becomes worried. Practising techniques or using the resources regularly can create a set of coping tools that your child can turn to. 

Encourage Them to Relax

Different children will have different ways they like to relax. This could be seeing friends, reading a book in a quiet room, listening to music with headphones, baking, playing sports or watching a film. Encourage them to engage with the things they enjoy.

Praise Small Achievements

Any small successes, such as getting up on time or finishing pieces of work can be a great opportunity to tell your child you are proud of them and celebrate the small wins. 

Try to Take the Pressure Off

The nature of neurodivergence means that on some days your child may be able to manage more than others. You can always try again the next day if something doesn't go well. Your child's progress won't always be straightforward, so stay positive even if there are bumps in the road and make sure your child knows you are there for them. 

Look After Yourself 

Young people can pick up on your feelings too. If you find yourself becoming anxious or stressed, consider practising relaxation techniques, trying mindfulness activities or getting some support to help you cope. 

You can find more information on coping with stress here

Involving Other Professionals

Professionals linked with your child's school may be asked to advise how to support your child if they have had an extended absence or are finding it difficult to come back to school.

Educational Psychologists (EP)

An Educational Psychologist applies psychology (the study of thinking, learning, emotions and behaviour) to support the learning, behaviours and well-being of children and young people. Across Norfolk & Waveney EPs have specialist skills in the areas of autism, behaviour, literacy and mental health. 

An EP may be suggested by a school SENDCo as a useful professional to work with your child if they are having significant issues with their behaviour and learning that are complicated, difficult to understand or show no improvement despite support being put in place.  

EPs work in a person-centred way to plan how to support a child depending on their needs. The information they collect will be used to plan what to do next in terms of supporting your child. This might include:

• Talking to the young person
• Psychological tests
• Observations in class
• Speaking with key staff and family

All local authority schools have a named link EP that provides services along with school staff like the school SENDCo. They can also provide advice and evidence for EHCP applications and for tribunals. 

If you are concerned about your child's progress, you can speak to the SENDCo at your child's school to request an EP, or contact the EP service in your area:

In Norfolk, you can contact the Educational Psychology Specialist Service on 01603 307 550 or email cs.epss@norfolk.gov.uk

In Suffolk, you can contact the Psychology & Therapeutic Services to find out more about how to access support. 

School Nursing Team 

School nurses are specialist community public health nurses (SCPHN) who work with families and young people from when they start school, up until 19 years of age. They are usually linked to a school or group of schools providing a link between school, home and the community. 

They can help with:

• Health advice and support
• Health awareness and healthy lifestyle workshops
• Emotional, mental health and wellbeing advice
• Relationships and sexual education workshops

In Norfolk & Waveney, you can contact the Healthy Child Service team for advice by calling Just One Number on 0300 300 0123 or texting Parentline on 07520 631590. Opening hours are 8am-6pm Monday-Friday (excluding bank holidays) and 9am-1pm on Saturdays.