Communicate Why

Language

When you build up your child's morning and evening routines and incorporate personal hygiene into them, it's helpful to communicate instructions clearly, by being specific about which body parts need to be cleaned, and how. It can also be useful to explain why they might want to use particular products, like deodorant, rather than assuming they already know. 

  For example:

• Use deodorant every day to make your underarms less sweaty and stinky
• Brushing your teeth at least twice a day and flossing once a day to help prevent bad breath and cavities

Menstruation

As your child begins to go through puberty, provide clear and direct information about menstruation, without using analogies. Young people may wish to know a lot or a little about how their body works and what to expect. 

Giving them information about how to use a pad/tampon or period pants, including how to dispose of them afterwards can be really useful in reducing anxiety and helping them feel prepared. 

Modelling New Tasks

Consider modelling any new elements your young person wants to add to their personal hygiene routine. For example, if they wish to shave, show them a step-by-step guide about how a razor works on different body parts. 

It can help to use visuals like videos, or photographs to explain each step if they find verbal instructions difficult.

Make the Bathroom a Place They Enjoy

If there are smells in the bathroom which your child doesn't like or something that they don't like touching, then they are going to be more reluctant to spend time there.

Make the bathroom as child-friendly as possible - you could use foaming soap or bathroom toys to make it more fun for them, or calming pictures.

A noisy extractor fan is another potential problem, so you could try turning it off when your child uses the bathroom.

Find out how to support your child with personal care here

Use Products Your Child Likes

Strong-smelling soap or shampoo can be difficult to use for neurodivergent children. Let them choose which products they want to use, as their idea of what smells or feels good may be different to yours.

Some toiletries might make bath or shower time more fun, such as squirty shower gel which foams, bath bombs or bath slime. These will all help to meet your child's sensory needs and make them keener to carry out personal hygiene tasks.

Stick to a Routine

Routines can be important for neurodivergent children because it gives them stability and predictability. Knowing what is going to happen next can reduce anxiety and put them in control.

If you have found a routine that works well, then stick with it. You could create a visual timetable so that everyone remembers what happens next.

For example, when your child takes a shower, they could use this routine:

• Wash face, arms, armpits, feet and legs
• Wash your body including private areas 
• After the shower, dry their body with a towel
• Dry face and hair with a towel
• Use deodorant 
• Get dressed in clean clothes

Brushing Teeth

Some children will enjoy brushing their teeth and others may find it trickier. It could be the taste of the toothpaste or the feel of the brush on their teeth, so try to work out what it is they don't like and then you can move on to how to help them.

There are plenty of flavours of toothpaste available so experiment with some different ones and try to find one your child likes - there are also flavourless toothpastes available.

You could also try an electric toothbrush instead of a manual one. Not only can they be more effective at cleaning teeth, but the buzzing might also act as a distraction from any discomfort they feel in their mouth. You can also get sensory toothbrushes, which are designed to make brushing easier for people with additional needs.

Other things you could try include:

• Using warm water to brush teeth instead of cold 
• If the floor is cold, make sure they are wearing socks or footwear
• Listen to calming music while they are in the bathroom
• Putting a mirror in front of them while they are brushing their teeth can be comforting
• Use a timer to add some predictability to the task

Oral Health For Children With Additional Needs

Menstruation

Most young people with a vagina will start menstruating, also known as getting their first 'period' in late childhood or early teenage years. Some young people may experience sensory sensitivities, which could include:

• Sensitivity to the sight, smell or feel of menstrual blood
• Their body or skin feeling more sensitive than usual
• Sensory overload occuring more frequently just before and during their period 

Challenges that can occur during menstruation include:

• Changes in showering and toileting routines
• Having to wear period products
• Having to use public bathrooms
• Difficulty dealing with the uncertainty of when periods will come, or how heavy their flow is

You can support your young person with menstruation by:

• Explaining the range of different period products and how they are used, using demonstrations or visual aids like videos
• Helping them to set a schedule, or reminders to change their period products
• Showing them how to track their periods using apps or calendars to understand when their period is due
• Supporting them to find a key person at school to talk to if they start their period at school, or need support
• Encouraging them to keep clean and wash regularly during their period, with clear instructions and visual aids if necessary
• Setting them up with spare underwear and period products to keep in their bag ahead of them getting their first period
• Talking about periods in an open and informative way to encourage your young person to feel comfortable talking to you
• Discussing their options, for example how a GP can support them if they wanted to use hormonal contraception, known as 'the pill', to help make their periods more predictable and reduce PMS symptoms.

Find more menstruation support tips here

Caring For Themselves

As your child grows you may feel that it is right for them to have a bit more independence with their personal care. Some signs that your young person may be struggling include:

• Hoarding or not taking care of their spaces in the house
• Dangerous behaviour or risk-taking
• Eating and drinking concerns like not eating
• Lack of personal hygiene, like not washing or taking care of their body
• Refusing medication or medical treatment when it's needed

If you are worried about your child, you should contact your GP for advice. There can be various reasons for neurodivergent young people to find self-care overwhelming, so there can be many adjustments and routes to get support.