Adjusting Diets

You might find that adjusting the foods you offer your child can make a difference in their behaviour and energy levels. 

Gastrointestinal Issues

For several reasons neurodivergent young people can suffer from gastrointestinal issues, this could be due to the following:

• Not recognising thirst or hunger leads to overeating or constipation
• Being so engrossed in what they are doing that they forget to eat
• Restricted diets causing tummy trouble
• Anxiety makes symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) worse 

Some parents find adjusting their child's diets to include more reminders to drink, offering multivitamins to supplement a restricted diet, or trying a gluten-free diet can help. 

If you feel your child may be suffering from gastrointestinal issues speak to your GP for advice. 

Creating a Routine

Many neurodivergent children find change difficult, so creating a routine which you follow at mealtimes can help reduce anxiety. 

To help mealtimes become more predictable it can help to set a regular time to sit down to eat with your child, and keep mealtimes consistent. Other strategies include:

• Giving your child a responsibility at mealtimes, like laying the table, or getting the cutlery, to help them feel part of the experience and understand that dinner time is about to happen. 
• Playing calm, low-volume music can help to avoid silence at the dinner table and divert attention away from your child if they feel anxious.
• Keep your dining area clutter-free and consider the sensory input of the area.
• For children who find the unpredictability of food a worry, presenting the same food repeatedly over time can help rather than changing up your menu, for example having a 'food of the week'.
• Presenting new foods on a separate plate, so as not to 'contaminate' their safe food in your child's view.
• Keeping conversation away from food and avoiding introducing pressure at mealtimes with language like 'Take another bite' or bribery like ' If you eat your broccoli you can have a treat'.
• If you will be eating in a different place like a cafe or restaurant, give your child a warning of what will be happening and let them see the menu in advance. 

Unpredictable Foods

The unpredictable nature of food can cause anxiety which affects the volume and variety of foods they eat. For example, fruits and vegetables can look very different depending on their variety, which can be unsettling. Children may:

• Notice imperfections in food
• Refuse foods they've previously eaten if the packaging or a recipe changes
• Find it difficult to realise two foods are similar, for example, types of pasta come in many shapes and forms 
• Dislike how food is presented or positioned on the plate, for example having foods touching, or something being covered in sauce

To help mealtimes become more predictable it can help to set a regular time to sit down to eat with your child, and keep mealtimes consistent. Other strategies include:

• Listening when your child tells you a food isn't right. Understanding their worry can help find a solution. 
• Letting your child see you eating the food you'd like them to try.
• Having food at the table with no expectation for them to eat it, so they can get to know the shape and texture over time.
• Avoid hiding foods you want them to try inside their 'safe' foods. It could cause them to restrict the food they initially would eat.
• Presenting new foods on a separate plate, so as not to 'contaminate' their safe food in your child's view.
• Avoid pressuring your child to eat, it can increase their anxiety if they feel forced and have the opposite effect that you intended. 

Maintaining Focus

Some neurodivergent children struggle to keep still for extended periods. This can cause strain at family mealtimes or when they are expected to stay still for food at school or in restaurants. 

Children may:

• Need to move around during dinner, or leave the dinner table before they've finished their food
• Get distracted easily while they are eating and not be able to focus on their food

There are strategies to try to keep your child focused on food or at the table. You can try these suggestions at mealtimes both at home or out and about:

• Encourage your child to do something energetic or active before the meal to let out excess energy. Often children have stored up energy from sitting at school for long periods, so exercise, or playing outside can help to burn it off. 
• Allow small distractions at the table. This may involve relaxing rules, but allowing fidget spinners or playing a game during the meal can help to keep a child's attention at the table.
• Assigning responsibilities to children and giving them a job like bringing cutlery, or getting everyone drinks can help your child feel positive and involved.
• Getting children involved in making the meal can help give them a sense of achievement and attachment to the food produced. 
• Consider mixing up your meals, while some neurodiverse children crave structure and predictability, others can get bored. So if your child responds well to surprises, try to change your menu regularly. 

Positive Strategies 

Some neurodivergent children and young people react to mealtimes due to past stressful experiences with food. Instances of vomiting in childhood, or if the environment they eat in is stressful can have an impact on how they view food. 

Strategies that could help include:

• Messy food play - If your child has missed out on textures, or is unsure what to do with new foods in their mouth, playing with food without the pressure to eat can help them become more familiar and lessen their anxiety around types of food. 
• Clear communication - Presenting information about mealtime visually, for example using a visual timetable to show what time meals are, or what foods are on offer at school can be helpful. 
• Avoid categorising foods - Labelling foods as unhealthy to healthy can lead to further problems if your child takes things too literally. Consider trying games to explore foods, particularly fruit and vegetables which can be challenging due to their unpredictability in size, shape, colour and texture. 
• Social aspects of eating - Think about how your child likes to eat and who will be there. The school dining room can be unpredictable based on who your child sits next to, so practising conversation starters, or asking for your child to be moved to a smaller group could be beneficial. 
• Busy environments - School canteens can be very noisy and bustling, which can be a problem for children with sensory sensitivities. If they will not eat at school, ask if there is a quieter, calmer space for them to eat their lunch.

Managing Stress 

Food can be an emotive issue, and it's easy to get frustrated when your child refuses to eat or finds food difficult. If you are anxious, your child will probably sense this. If your child is healthy and growing, try to relax and go at their pace. Don't worry about other people's opinions on their diet or compare your child to others. If you have concerns about nutrition, it can help to give your child vitamins to support their diet. 

Tips to help manage stress at mealtimes include:

• Giving children praise every time they make a step towards trying anything new can be a powerful motivator and give your child confidence to try other foods. It can also help build back trust with your child if previous mealtimes have been fraught.
• Try distractions like card games, fidget toys or activities during your meal to help take the pressure off of eating and encourage your child to think of meal times positively. 
• Play relaxing music during mealtime to help keep the atmosphere calm.
• Consider mindfulness activities, or relaxation techniques that you could try together, or individually to help keep calm.