Preparing For Change

Giving your child time to process what will be happening is helpful. This means finding out about the change to give your child more details about what to expect. For example:

• What does the change involve?
• When will it take place?
• Who else is involved?

When discussing upcoming changes with your child, use whatever communication style works best for your family. You might use pictures, objects or photos to help them understand. Practical ways to explain change could include:

• Write down planned changes on a shared calendar that can be placed somewhere easy to see in your home. For younger children, you could create visual supports like 'now and next' cards or a simple timetable of what will be coming up that week. 
• Use social stories, like comic strips that go through each section of the change to help children become more used to the sequence of events. 
• If the change takes place in a different environment could you visit so your child knows what the place looks like? If you can't visit, some venues have online tours or information to show them. 
• Plan any soothing tools or activities that your child can bring along like fidget toys, or a book about their interests so that they have something familiar or calming nearby.

Coping With Sudden Change

The key to supporting neurodivergent children through transitions is prior preparation, however, this isn't always possible in the modern world with sudden changes. Examples of unexpected changes that could cause anxiety include:

• Taking a new route to school or home due to roadworks
• Changes in routine like illness, power cuts or unexpected doctor appointments

When things don't always go to plan, it's useful to look for signs of anxiety in your child to see if they need extra support. The signs can be different for every child, so it can be useful to note the triggers your child responds to, and the best techniques to soothe them. Anxiety could present as:

• Nausea
• Fast heartbeat
• Restlessness
• Sweating or hot flushes
• Extra stimming or tics
• Energy bursts
• Emotional distress
• Becoming withdrawn

If you feel your child may be becoming overwhelmed by an unexpected change, you can offer some techniques to help calm them, these could include:

• Self-soothing with sensory tools, and stemming to reduce anxiety levels
• Moving your child into a quiet space so they feel able to express themselves and reduce sensory overload
• Calming activities, like slow breathing techniques
• Distraction activities your child enjoys, like drawing or a favourite comic

Preparing For Adulthood

Puberty and the transition to becoming an adult can be a huge change for neurodivergent young people. They are impacted by social, emotional and physical changes which can cause confusion, sensory discomfort and uncertainty. While some navigate these changes with relative ease, others may need much more support, understanding and open communication to help them process the transition. 

Physical Changes

Over the teenage years, your child will go through puberty, which can feel distressing when you have no control over your changing body. Preparing your child for future changes and explaining why the changes happen can be a helpful way to alleviate worries. Preparation can involve:

• Explaining in open, clear and specific language what changes will happen to their body and why so they can understand the reasons behind the changes and accept that it is a universal experience
• Teaching your child about hygiene and periods as a teenager and how to manage their personal hygiene based on their sensory profile
• Discuss potential scenarios to prepare for unexpected situations like periods happening unexpectedly or erections happening away from home

Relationships

As your child approaches teenage years and beyond, they may begin to explore relationships with peers and seek to understand their own sexual orientation and gender identity. It's crucial to create a safe and supportive environment at home to allow your child to feel comfortable. This might look like:

• Discussing healthy relationships, consent and respect
• Actively listening to fears and worries 
• Embracing their need to be authentically themselves and demonstrating acceptance 

Emotional Changes

Puberty can have a significant impact on young people's emotions and the hormonal changes can intensify their emotional responses. This can lead to heightened sensitivity and overwhelming feelings for some neurodiverse teenagers. Helping them to understand and be aware of their emotions can help with these changes. You can also try:

• Teaching emotional regulation skills like identifying emotions and relaxation methods
• Being open and sympathetic to their needs
• Providing a safe and supportive home to be able to retreat to when they need it

The Future

The future can look different to neurodivergent young people depending on their level of need. While some young people might find it challenging to move from a structured timetable at school to paid employment or higher education, others might find independence difficult and need support navigating day-to-day activities.

Thinking about the future can mean a huge transition in the environment, peers and their ways of working for any neurodivergent young person. They may need to consider the extra support they need in finding suitable work, asking for reasonable adjustments, or moving out to live independently. 

Support from specialist services is available at:

SEND Local offer - County Council websites with resources and advice tailored to young people with extra needs. 

SENDIASS - An information advice and support service to help young people with SEND access education

Access to Work - National government support to help those with a disability or health condition to get or stay in work