Puberty is the word used to describe the physical and emotional changes that happen to boys and girls as they become adults.
It happens at different times for different children. It usually begins sometime between 9 to 14 years old. Puberty is not a quick process, usually taking around 4 years for the physical changes to complete. The emotional changes often take much longer.
For neurodivergent young people, it can be a change they find difficult to accept. The lack of control over their emotions and physical changes can be unsettling, so it can be helpful to normalise it by talking about the changes as young as possible.
You will know how to approach the topic and the discussions around it best based on your child's preferred communication style. This page explores puberty and how you can help your child understand the upcoming changes to prepare them emotionally.
Changes in Skin
One of the common changes that happens during puberty, is young people start to get spots, blackheads and pimples. This may be really difficult for them, as it comes at a time when they are often more self-conscious about their appearance. It is because of hormonal changes, not because of dirty skin. However - keeping skin clean will help.
There are many products available to buy to help with skin problems. The best place to get advice at first on what will help your child is your local pharmacist.
Changes in Body Shape
It is common to see a real change in body shape. In early puberty, you may worry your child is putting on weight. Girls especially see an increase in their body fat.
If your child is active and eats a wide range of healthy foods it usually settles as they grow taller.
If your child is inactive or does not eat healthily, this can make it harder for them to keep at a healthy weight. This may be a good time for the whole family to think about being more active and introducing more healthy foods.
Changes in Hair Growth
Hormonal changes can often lead to increased hair growth – how much hair, and where it grows varies from person to person. It will grow on faces, underarms and around their private parts.
There is no ‘right amount of hair’. Remind your child to try not to compare themselves with others. Your child may feel proud of this or they may feel self-conscious.
Some young people feel keen to remove the hair – this is down to personal choice. If your child wishes to remove their body hair, it can be useful to talk to them about their options and the different products available and demonstrate how the products are used.
Changes in Mood & Feelings
You might notice changes in your child's mood to their usual behaviour. One minute they might be full of energy and fun, and the next be tired and grumpy.
You might notice that they are;
These changes in mood during puberty are very common but can be confusing for your child. They may feel like their feelings are out of control, which can be unsettling. It's helpful to reassure your child this is a normal part of puberty and be open to talking to them whenever they need it.
Young people may experience their first 'crush' during puberty. Crushes are very common and are usually a harmless attraction to someone else however, they can be very powerful and confusing. The crush could be on their friend, or sometimes an adult they really admire, like a teacher or a celebrity. They may display feelings for someone of the opposite sex or someone of the same sex. This does not necessarily determine what a young person's sexuality will be in the long term.
If an adult discovers that a young person has a crush on them, they should be kind but keep firm boundaries. If you are worried an adult is taking advantage of your child's feelings, you should talk to your child and seek further advice.
Let us know what you think!
We've been working together in Norfolk and Waveney with families and professionals to put together information, advice and resources that are helpful to families. Let us know what you think, and anything we could change or add to make it even better.
If you live in Norfolk
You can contact the Healthy Child Service team by calling Just One Number on 0300 300 0123 or texting Parentline on 07520 631590. Our opening hours are 8am-6pm Monday-Friday (excluding bank holidays) and 9am-1pm on Saturdays.
If you are 11-19 you can text ChatHealth on 07480 635060 for confidential advice from one of our team.
If you live in Waveney
Norfolk SEND Local Offer provide information and advice on services for young people with additional needs in Norfolk.
Suffolk SEND Local Offer provide information and advice on services for young people with additional needs in Waveney.
Mencap is a national charity who support people with learning disabilities. They offer a free Learning Disability Helpline with advice and guidance. Call 0808 808 1111 to speak to a trained professional.
Kooth offers online counselling, advice and emotional well-being support for anyone aged 10-18, seven days a week until 10pm.
