Using Positive Language

Using positive language and focusing on strengths, abilities and interests can be a way to help your child understand their condition in a more balanced way, acknowledging their differences while supporting their self-esteem and confidence. 

The neurodevelopmental team suggest:

ADHD

ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a Neurodevelopmental condition that impacts how people regulate their attention, movement, and impulses. It is classed as ‘Neurodevelopmental’ as this results from how brain pathways have developed since before birth. ADHD is a life-long diagnosis which means that your child/young person will continue to experience symptoms into adulthood, although these may change as they grow up. Promoting a strengths-based approach for ADHD involves recognising and cultivating their unique abilities and talents, whilst supporting their needs. By focusing on their strengths, those around them can support the development of self-esteem and motivation. Additionally, emphasising positive reinforcement and encouragement through Neurodiversity-affirming strategies will help to build confidence and resilience.

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and means that you have differences in the way your body regulates attention and energy levels. The Māori word for ADHD is Aroreretini, which roughly translates as “attention goes to many things”.

Autism

Autism is a Neurodevelopmental condition that affects the way individuals interact with others and experience the world. It is classed as ‘Neurodevelopmental’ as this results from how brain pathways have developed since before birth. Autism is a life-long diagnosis which means that your child/young person will continue to experience symptoms into adulthood. It has allowed them to develop some of their skills but can also explain some things they may find more difficult. It is important to remember that every person with Autism will present with different strengths and needs and rather than adjusting their behaviour, those around them should be mindful of their needs as part of a Neuro-affirming approach.

Those around your child/young person should prioritise identifying and supporting their strengths and interests, promoting an environment they can thrive. By providing opportunities for self-expression, creativity, and skill development in areas of strength, you can support them to build confidence and resilience.

Autism (or ASD) is part of normal human diversity. Even before you were born, your brain was ‘wired’ differently from those who are not autistic, and that means you are primed to focus on different aspects of the environment to a non-autistic person. The Māori word for Autism is Takiwātanga, which means “in my own time and space”.

Talking About Preferences

Choosing whether to tell people about a neurodivergent diagnosis is a personal decision. As a parent or caregiver of young children, you may need to decide who to tell, while parents of older children should discuss preferences with your child. 

It can be useful to talk about the pros and cons of telling people in different situations, for example, it can be beneficial for your child's education to let their teacher know to request certain adjustments, but some children may prefer that their classmates aren't told. Whatever their preference, it's important to respect their choices.

It can be helpful to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of disclosing a diagnosis with other people who've had similar experiences. Much advice can be found through accessing local support networks or online communities.  

Creating a Network

If you feel apprehensive about discussing a diagnosis with family and friends, it can be helpful to listen to other parents who have been through the assessment process. Equally older children and young people may benefit from listening to the experiences of neurodivergent people on social media.

Local Support Groups

Meeting other parents who have children with special educational needs and/or disabilities can help you build connections and find advice and guidance. Local support groups are ideal to:

• Meet other parents and carers
• Build friendships and opportunities to socialise
• Share information and resources

Find out more about local support groups in Norfolk

Social Media

Many neurodivergent people are using social media to share their views and experiences about their conditions positively, whilst charities and services can give you up-to-date news and information. 

While social media can be excellent for building up an online community of positive connections and raising awareness, it's important to remember that information based on personal experience shouldn't be taken as medical advice. Misinformation about conditions can be published easily, so look for information from trusted sources. 

Family Voice

Joining local parent carer forums can help you meet other parents going through similar journeys with their children, and help you discuss your views and experiences on SEND locally and nationally. 

Find out more about SEND Discussion Forums

Top Tips

Some top tips to think about before you speak to your child about their assessment or diagnosis include:

• Finding out about your child's neurodivergent diagnosis and gaining a good understanding of how it can affect their life can help you answer any questions they may ask.
• Consider starting talking about their strengths and differences soon after, if not before, a diagnosis – Many neurodivergent children may already be aware they experience things differently from their peers.
• Give small amounts of information at a time to allow your child to understand and process what you are saying.
• Consider how much your child will understand and use age-appropriate language and resources (which could include books, TV shows and websites).
• Answer questions honestly and directly. It's okay not to have all the answers, so research any answers you don't know.
• Try keeping calm, relaxed and positive, and hold your discussions in an environment they feel comfortable in.
• Respect their preferences and let them choose who they tell. Talk to them about the advantages and disadvantages of telling different people, whether that's classmates, teachers, family and friends.
• finding other neurodivergent people, particularly positive neurodivergent adult role models and peers, who your child can socialise with.
• Empower your child to know what their needs are, communicate them with other people and feel confident to ask for support.
• Keep yourself open to answering questions and talking about it whenever they need reassurance.