Trauma is a word used to describe a response to significant stressful or frightening events that overwhelm our ability to cope. It can relate to a single event, or an ongoing series of events and can involve witnessing a significant event as well as being directly involved.
When children or young people experience a significant stressful or frightening event it can impact their cognitive, social and emotional development. After a significant stressful event, it is normal for it to have an impact on a young person's emotional well-being.
Not all children and young people who encounter a traumatic event will go on to experience a mental health condition such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), however, if the impact is prolonged over time there may be more risk of significant difficulties.
An example of a significant traumatic event could be:
It is not the severity of the event that determines whether something is traumatic, rather the meaning of the event to the person who has experienced it. This means that a range of events can be experienced as traumatic depending on how the young person experiences it.
Neurodivergent children and teenagers may be at greater risk of experiencing traumatic events because they experience the world differently from typically developing children, and may experience and process traumatic events differently.
For example, communication differences might make it more challenging to communicate distress using words, meaning it might be expressed through changes in behaviour.
Find further information on post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in the video below.
Possible Signs of Trauma in Children & Young People
Here are some common behaviours that you might notice your child experiencing:
Although it can be really difficult for you and your child, it can help to let them know their reactions are normal and that you are there to support them.
Help Them to Understand What Happened
Children
and young people need to be able to make sense of what they have experienced.
Depending on their age and best mode of communication, they can really benefit from talking through and being given an explanation of what happened, reminding them the event is over and they are safe now. This will help your child to make sense of the event and may help to process some of the feelings they may be experiencing.
Helpful things to consider include:
It's useful to remember that neurodivergent young people may experience traumatic events differently, for example:
Be Available to Talk
It
may sometimes feel that the right thing to do is not talk about what has happened in case it upsets your child or makes things worse.
Talking can be a positive first step, but needs to be done carefully, sensitively and at the right time for your child. Support and encourage them to talk when they are ready. Some children and young people may want to use dolls or toys or draw pictures to help them understand what has happened.
It can be difficult or distressing, but by exploring what happened, you can help your child to make sense of their experiences moving forward. If you find it hard talking to your child, you could ask another adult to help, such as a family member or a trusted friend. It will be important that this is someone who your young person has a trusting relationship with.
Dealing With Grief
All deaths can be difficult to deal with and can take time to come to terms with. If the death happened because of a traumatic incident it can take even more time, especially for younger people.
Children and young people sometimes struggle to put feelings and thoughts into words and tend to show feelings with their behaviour. Identifying feelings can be difficult for some neurodivergent young people and their feelings may be different from those experienced by others. They may need extra support to understand and interpret their emotions, as well as the emotions of those around them.
Younger children might need some help in understanding what has happened and that the person is not coming back. It is important to be supportive and patient with them and take time to explain it.
Every child is different and will cope with the death of someone important in their own way. Here are some things that can help:
Looking After Your Child Following a Trauma
There are many things that parents and carers can do to help their child recover from a trauma. This guide, produced by the Greater Manchester Resilience Hub in the wake of the 2017 Manchester Arena bomb attack, will help you understand why many children and young people find it hard after a trauma, what they might be experiencing and how you can help them.
If your child has experienced trauma, you could use these activities and tools to help them understand and process what has happened. It can help to encourage your child to notice their thoughts and memories and then choose if they want to talk about it, draw it, or try to let it go for now and concentrate on a different experience.
Ukrainian Support
The
ongoing conflict in Ukraine has caused many families to leave their homes in search of safety. This will have been an extremely traumatic experience for many families. If you or your children have recently arrived in the UK and you need support you can call Barnardo's free helpline on 0800 148 8586.
The Helpline is open:
Monday – Friday 10am-8pm
Saturday 10am-3pm
Let us know what you think!
We've been working together in Norfolk and Waveney with families and professionals to put together information, advice and resources that are helpful to families. Let us know what you think, and anything we could change or add to make it even better.
If you live in Norfolk
You can contact the Healthy Child Service team by calling Just One Number on 0300 300 0123 or texting Parentline on 07520 631590. Our opening hours are 8am-6pm Monday-Friday (excluding bank holidays) and 9am-1pm on Saturdays.
If you are 11-19 you can text ChatHealth on 07480 635060 for confidential advice from one of our team.
If you live in Waveney
Norfolk SEND Local Offer provide information and advice on services for young people with additional needs in Norfolk.
Suffolk SEND Local Offer provide information and advice on services for young people with additional needs in Waveney.
Mencap is a national charity who support people with learning disabilities. They offer a free Learning Disability Helpline with advice and guidance. Call 0808 808 1111 to speak to a trained professional.
Kooth offers online counselling, advice and emotional well-being support for anyone aged 10-18, seven days a week until 10pm.
Social stories can be used to help children and young people understand what has happened after a traumatic event or tackle abstract concepts like death and bereavement. 
Grounding techniques can be useful in bringing children and young people back to the present moment. 
thinking puzzles in their heads is a good way to move their focus away from a traumatic memory. This could be:
activities can be a good way of relaxing and keeping the mind off any traumatic memories. If your child notices that they are thinking about the traumatic memory, ask them if they want to talk about it or if they would like to try out an activity below or something similar:
Some children and young people might find movement helpful, and if physical exercise works for them, then it can be a useful strategy.
