How to Help

• Consider your Environment

  Think about your environment at home. 

  • Are there any adaptations you can make at home to help manage your child's needs? 
  • How much noise is there at home?
  • Does your child have quiet areas to go to?
  • Could you use a visual timetable or timer to help structure your child's day?

  When going out it can be helpful to plan and organise your day in advance so you can incorporate rest breaks and plan when you will stop to eat/drink. 

  It may be helpful to share this with your child so that they know what to expect throughout the day. Things don't always go to plan, so it can be helpful to have:

  • A backup plan
  • A toolbox of strategies to help your child regulate
  • Be willing to leave if your child becomes overwhelmed and wants to go home. 

• Think About Why Your Child is Not Doing What You Have Asked Them

  Is it because they won't do it, or they can't do it? For example, if they are refusing to use cutlery, do they have a different preference or do they struggle with fine motor skills and can't do it?

  Consider having a conversation with your child to understand why they want to do something differently. Think about whether they are avoiding something overwhelming, or what they might need to help them with regulating, remembering or organising themselves. 

  Try to explain why you want your child to do something - don't just say "Because I told you so". They might struggle with demands which don't make sense to them and they need to understand the reasoning behind it.

• See the Funny Side

  Sometimes you might be able to use humour to help deal with a difficult situation.

  This will depend on your child's mood, but using humour can improve your relationship with your child.

• Spend Quality Time Together

  It could be something as simple as going for a walk together, watching TV or taking them out for a treat. Keep the tone positive and avoid mentioning anything they've done wrong.

  It's important that they feel safe with you, so that they can tell you anything and know that you will be there to listen, understand and support them. 

• Keep Communication Simple

  Don't overload them with information. Try to give them one or two options rather than a long list and keep the number of instructions you want them to follow to a minimum.

• Take a Break

  Don't get drawn into an argument if your child becomes angry or overwhelmed. Delay the discussion until everyone has had the chance to calm down.

  Pick your battles - if there's an argument about something that doesn't really matter, it's sometimes helpful to let it go rather than create a big issue.

• Provide Clear & Positive Directions

  If you tell your child what to do, rather than what not to do, it gives them a start rather than a stop direction and can make it easier for them to follow.

• Be Aware of your Child's Needs

  If they say something is too bright, too smelly or too loud, take the necessary action to help them regulate.

  You can avoid sensory overload by spotting the early signs of distress building up and dealing with it.

  You can put sensory strategies in place to help reduce overwhelming sensory input. For example dimming lights, using ear defenders or having a low-stimulus environment.

• Recognise When Your Child Needs a Rest

  Sometimes being at school with other people is enough socialising for one day and your child might not want to do after-school clubs or playdates.

  While you may be keen for them to socialise, they may find this difficult, especially after a long day of being out of the house.

  Consider your child's needs and preferences. They may need to go home, rest, and recharge their sensory and social batteries instead of engaging in after-school activities. If your child would like to join in with an after-school club, consider what your child finds meaningful. Some children may find mixing with other neurodivergent children helpful.