What Causes Selective Mutism?

Selective mutism can start at any age but usually occurs in early childhood. If a child or young person with SM experiences negative responses to anxiety, their difficulties can persist into adulthood. It's often first noticed when a child starts to interact with others outside their family, for example at nursery or starting school. 

The cause of selective mutism is not always clear and no single cause has been identified. It's important to focus on supporting your child or young person with selective mutism and offering positive responses. 

Selective Mutism & Neurodevelopmental Differences

Selective mutism is not a neurodevelopmental difference like autism. It's an anxiety-based response that can be present at any time and does not occur across all settings and may not be lifelong. 

Neurodevelopmental differences (including autism) are a way of describing differences a child or young person's brain may show when processing information and are present in the early developmental period and across different settings, like school and home. Some neurodivergent children and young people may also experience selective mutism. 

How to Support Your Child

Recognising that selective mutism is an anxiety response, like a phobia, can help to understand why a child or young person can speak in some situations and not in others. Acceptance, understanding and patience are all required when supporting a child or young person with selective mutism. 

It's important to remove any pressure to speak and instead offer the following positive responses that can help to reduce anxiety:

At Home or Out and About

• If age-appropriate, talk openly about selective mutism and the reasons why your child or young person can speak in some situations but not in others. This will help them to know that you understand what it might feel like and that you are there for support. It can also help them to know that this is not their choice or fault, but a response to anxiety. 
• Reassure your child that things will get easier and that you want to support them so they can talk freely across all situations.
• During the times that your child experiences anxiety around talking (for example when guests visit, or when you drop your child off at school), adapt your language to remove any expectation of speaking. Try using closed statements like ' I wonder what colour you'll use next' or 'Wow, look how quickly you've tidied up!' This means you can communicate with your child without placing extra pressure on them. 
• Accept other methods your child may attempt to use to communicate with you, such as writing information down, whispering to you, or using gestures. It's ok to speak for your child to help reduce their anxiety and never prompt your child to speak louder. 
• Focus on those things your child can do and encourage their interests, talents and skills. You can allow your child to join in with activities that focus on their strengths and motivations without the expectation of speaking (e.g. drawing, gaming, sports).
• If your child's anxiety does start to reduce and they can speak across more settings and situations, do not draw attention to this and instead act as you would in those situations they can already speak freely within. 
• Make sure your family and friends are also aware of how to best support your child to provide as many positive responses as possible. 

At School

It's also important to work closely with the school to support your child or young person. This may include speaking to the special educational needs & disabilities coordinator (SENDCo) and class teacher to ensure you are all using the same positive responses. Some specific to school may include:

• Reassuring your child that they won't be chosen to answer a question unless they feel able to and never putting your child on the spot.
• Reassuring your child that they can join in with class activities without the need to talk and that if they would like to and feel able to, they can use other ways of communicating such as gestures or writing. 
• Considering other ways to help your child communicate with the teacher without the expectation of speaking. Different approaches can work better for different children, but an example might be using a traffic light card system or a bathroom pass. 
• Using reasonable adjustments to support the completion of school work and/or exams. For example, a child being able to complete their phonics sounds aloud at home with their caregiver, where they can speak freely. 
• Celebrating your child's strengths and interests so the focus is shifted to those things that your child can do and enjoy. School can set up one-to-one time with your child or young person to focus on building positive interactions without the need for talking. 
• Ask your child if they would like to set some small steps to work towards helping them face their fears in tiny, bearable steps (so that their brain learns through repeated experiences that there is no need to sound the alarm). For example, your child might be happy to audio-record themselves reading aloud when at home to show their teacher on a one-to-one after school. Any steps must be completely led by your child to make sure they feel achievable.